Brian May opens up on Christmas depression battle: 'I haven’t wanted to show my face'

6 January 2020, 13:06

Brian May opens up on depression: 'I haven’t wanted to show my face'
Brian May opens up on depression: 'I haven’t wanted to show my face'. Picture: Instagram • PA

By Rory O'Connor

Queen guitarist Brian May has opened up about his battle with depression in a new Instagram post.

The 72-year-old revealed Christmas was hard for him, noting: "There’s something about this time of the year that paralyses me."

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Brian wrote: "I haven’t wanted to show my face because my face was grim.

"Depression, hopelessness, fear… I get engulfed. Is it logical?

Queen's Brian May
Queen's Brian May. Picture: PA

"No. Should I be grateful for my life and therefore NOT depressed? Yes.

"But none of that makes any difference when you look up and the colours have gone out of the world."

Read more: Queen's Brian May praises Adam Lambert, saying he can "do more" than Freddie Mercury

The guitarist said he was "wrenching" himself back into "normality" with "biking, stretching and hot and cold-showering".

View this post on Instagram

Inspiration for the next 10 years ? Thanks to my dear friend Joe Elliott @defleppard I have this great image of my hero Jimi Hendrix on my wall to remind me to keep reaching for the stars. Ach ! A bit too glib for you ? Well, that’s my brave face. Most of this Christmas period I haven’t wanted to show my face because my face was grim. There’s something about this time of the year that paralyses me. Depression, hopelessness, fear ... I get engulfed. Is it logical ? No. Should I be grateful for my life and therefore NOT depressed ? Yes. But none of that makes any difference when you look up and the colours have gone out of the world. Tomorrow I am wrenching myself back into ‘normality’ - starting with some biking and stretching and hot and cold showering. Oh ! And the Veganuary quest ? It went OK on Day 2. Breakfast : half a grapefruit and crispbread with plant-based spread and home-made marmalade. Jasmin tea, black. Lunch : a Vegan Leggera Padana in Pizza Express with my littlest ones. That’s very easy - they do it all for you - they make it with Vegan cheese and it tastes just like ‘normal’ ! And for Dinner : some nice light veggies prepared by my amazing wife ! There are SO many great vegetables in the world - artichoke hearts, hearts of palm, roasted parsnips, new potatoes, and a rocket and tomato salad, perked up with Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar from dear old Luciano Pavarotti’s home town. Plus a nice selection of nuts and raisins. Hey ! This is a doddle !! Ha ha !! Well, we shall see ! Happy Friday folks ... we’ll soon be out of this murky Sargasso Sea ! Bri

A post shared by Brian Harold May (@brianmayforreal) on

Read more: Queen's Brian May says he will never tour with a Freddie Mercury impersonator

This is not the first time Brian has spoken about mental health, revealing in 2011 how he "didn’t want to live" in the months following the deaths of Queen frontman Freddie Mercury as well as Brian’s father in 1991.

For confidential support call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or visit a local Samaritans branch.

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